May 2012
0604-92:
There appears to be a lot of ignorance regarding female bodily functions, so just to clear a few matters up in case you weren’t aware: urine doesn’t come out of the vagina, queefs are just air and don’t smell of fish (you dirtbags) and hair doesn’t grow on the clit. Just saying, y’know.
Took a swig of orange juice
Spat it across the kitchen
It had fucking bits
Does my mum hate me or something
WatchYUP ANOTHER POINTLESS VIDEO WITH MY SILLY VOICE
I can’t walk. I just fell over getting out of the bath. Now I’m collapsed on my bed, sans-towel. What is going on with my body.
ayershole replied to your post: Oh, sweet Jesus. That was almost a crank. Such a…
this is the most detailed description about something so ordinary Ive seen in a while
Fuck off, shit tits. It was a beautiful tale of a struggle. A struggle against all odds and our dear protagonist made it.
Oh, sweet Jesus. That was almost a crank. Such a huge build up and I was involuntarily begging who knows what. Panted like I was having a panic attack for a good two minutes after. So shaky. Want to lie here forever.
This is a story about a wank. Welcome to my life.
Bathwank
I have cried five times in two days because of this woman.
Fuck
Off
Oh, little thing I didn't mention about today
Basically, right. I was told not to go to my lesson with my drama teacher today, since her conduct (particularly regarding me) is being investigated.
I got in at 11am and “checked in” as such with Jenny, at which point she told me I had to go see my drama teacher. I felt physically sick and basically I had to go to get her to check my notes I was taking in. Jenny refused to just take...
TRUE BLOOD IN 10 DAYS
AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
"❒ Single ❒ Taken ✔Fangirl"
I will fucking vomit in your throat.
Oh, but not the black ring. That thing looks shit.
How long does Student Finance take to process your evidence? Anyone?
Ralph Fiennes?
MORE LIKE RALPH FINE
EH?
EHHHH?
EHHHHH
Anthony Hopkins
Ralph Fiennes
Jeremy Irons
Harrison Ford
William Petersen
Hugh Laurie
Daniel Day-Lewis
Liam Neeson
Henry Rollins
Alan Rickman
I definitely have a thing for older men.
Anthony Hopkins is so hot
Reading Silence of the Lambs, while watching Silence of the Lambs. Meta-Hannibal
I might burn my drama stuff. That would be most cathartic.
Tom’s band mate Dave really fucked me off the other week. As much as I love him to bits and he’s a good friend, it was just urgh. Basically, he just asked me out of the blue “Oh, who was that girl in your Facebook photo? Y’know, the bigger one.”
Really?
Really, Dave?
She’s a size 16.
And doesn’t even look it.
Shut up.
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wombshake replied to your post: BANKIN WITH BANKNOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!
Congratulations on winning Eurovision.
Holy hot damn. Gr8 compliment is gr8
Holly, Dann and Hindsy.
COME AND LIVE WITH ME FOR A BLOODY WEEK
Someone come and stay with me for the next week please. My mumma’s usually home from work now and she’s fucked off to Turkey, SO I HAVE A WEEK OF ALL THE LONELY
Loving the marks from wearing my specs in that photo. DAMN YOU, GENETICS
Everytime I tell someone about steamed sausage, they just seem mortified. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT LIVING IS UNTIL YOU’VE HAD IT
Anonymous asked: I enjoy the small things in life. That’s why shagging my boyfriend is a dream. Your boyfriend has a small dick? Is that the joke? I feel sorry for him.
Anonymous asked: Whenever i look up your tumblr on google it always shows your other blog "bakingwithbanknote" which i always misread as "bankingwithbanknote". I want a banking with banknote blog. And can we also get a wanking with banknote blog?
Making steamed sausage, ‘cause I’m a top Scotch lassie
Just finished my drama exam. Don’t have to see that fucking lardy turd ever agaaaaiiiiiiiin.
Also, she’s getting investigated lolololol
One of the most painful and traumatising moments of my life was when I was about three or four and started ballet.
We were told to sit on the floor and stretch our legs as far apart horizontally, while still having our torso upright. I got my legs almost parallel to my body and then the teacher came over to me, grabbed my wrists and pulled me forward. My legs became completely parallel to my body...
“Take the car, go to Mum’s, kill Phil, grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a...”
– Sylvia Plath (via incorrectsylviaplathquotes)
I just cannot seem to take an attractive photo lately. It’s all very depressing.
Seriously overestimated how warm it is today. Freezing in a vest, kaftan and leggings. Wah
Girls who think applying hairspray to their face will stop their make up from coming off.
WHY ARE YOU EVEN ALLOWED TO HAVE MAKE UP.
Mum just left for work and she’s head straight to the airport for Turkey straight after and now I’m all sad. I have an exam this afternoon too, so that sucks diiiiiick. She did leave me a present in my room though; a tube of YSL Touche Eclat. Well done.
Anonymous asked: What does a "U" mean in grading?? I like an "F" ??
Anonymous asked: Whats wrong with your mental health?
So much Zelda chat on my dash, so I’m going to continue it.
Was anyone else shitpiss scared of the Deku Puppets? They still feature heavily in my nightmares.
Midna’s well hot in imp form
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